When Prayer is Hard
A Centering that has been helpful to me
When Prayer Is Hard
A few months ago I realized that my “solitude” wasn’t very spiritual.
Yes, I spent time alone. I got away from the crowds. I even built quiet into my mornings. But I wasn’t really practicing solitude.
The problem was that I was never actually alone.
Every quiet moment was filled with inputs. Music. Podcasts. Audiobooks. Even my exercise became another distraction. I was constantly consuming something. I was never quite bored enough to hear the gentle whispers of God—or honest enough to look deeply at myself.
So I began a new practice.
For the first ten minutes of every morning, I simply try to turn my attention toward God.
Almost immediately, my mind wanders. We call this MONKEY MIND
What do I need to accomplish today?
Did I answer that email?
Did I lock the door?
How am I going to solve that problem?
At first I was incredibly self-critical. I assumed I was bad at prayer. Then I realized something freeing:
A wandering mind is simply part of being human. It's a feature, not a bug, perhaps.
The point isn’t to keep your mind from wandering. The point is to keep returning it to God.
Every return is itself a small act of prayer.
Here are three simple practices that have helped me.
1. Choose a mantra or a sacred image.
I often repeat the opening words of Psalm 121:
“I lift up my eyes to the hills—from where will my help come? My help comes from the Lord.”
Sometimes I simply repeat the words.
Sometimes I imagine the hills.
Sometimes I picture myself standing before them, quietly waiting on God.
The goal isn’t to think harder. It’s to give your attention somewhere holy to rest.
2. Don’t fight the monkey mind.
When my thoughts drift, I don’t scold myself anymore.
I simply notice.
“There’s the monkey mind again.”
Then, with gratitude, I return to the Psalm.
Returning is the practice.
Returning is the prayer.
Returning is the gift.
3. If all else fails, breathe.
Sometimes words won’t come.
Sometimes Scripture won’t settle my thoughts.
When that happens, I simply pay attention to my breathing.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Be present.
Prayer begins with attention. If I can do nothing else, I can simply become aware that God is present, and I can be present too.
Prayer has become much gentler for me since I stopped trying to master it.
Years ago, I noticed something similar in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Even black belts will tell you that jiu-jitsu is hard. They’ll often say they’re still not very good at it. Mastery always seems to remain just over the horizon.
Prayer is much the same.
We never really master it.
Nor are we meant to.
The point isn’t perfection.
The point is practice.
So don’t be discouraged if your mind wanders.
Just come back.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Every return is another step toward God.