Many believers are afraid of doubt. Some suppose it is a sign of sin or some other form of faithlessness. Others think it a gateway to atheism. But doubt need not be seen as a bogeyman.
Still, I get the feeling that for someone who wants to feel grounded in their faith, thoughts and feelings of doubt can be disorienting. So here is the first thing I want to tell you: doubt is in no way the opposite of faith. I think it is closer to say that certainty is the opposite of faith. Certainty is an insidious desire that most of us yearn for, and as that desire grows, moments of doubt become even harder to navigate.
Second, let me suggest something that the writers of Scripture knew, that the fathers and doctors of the church knew, that most mystics knew (and know), and that even many a saintly mother knows: doubt is a part of faith. It is important to see faith not as a destination of cognitive assent or of a certain feeling. Faith, to be cheesy, is a journey, and part of the journey is advances and setbacks, ups and downs, insights and confusion. Doubt is just part of the road we travel.
Third, I think it best to make doubt your friend. When you make it the enemy of your mind, you give it an outsized space there. You turn it into a possible monster and then give it air to breathe and grow. But if you befriend it, doubt can help you as you walk the pilgrimage of faith.
How can doubt be a friend, you ask? Doubt and moments of uncertainty are invitations to keep seeking. In any spiritual life, there are moments when God appears to disclose Godself more fully than at others. Then there are “dark nights,” seasons of the soul when God appears further away. Those feelings are just that: feelings. And feelings, important as they are, are not equal to reality. They are data points telling us about ourselves. The feeling of God’s distance is an invitation to search for God. (I have written about this before in another post, “Help What to do When God Seems Far Away”)
Doubt is similar. It is an invitation to keep searching for God. God wants a searching heart more than a certain heart. Certainty can lead to pride, and it can stunt growth. A seeker, on the other hand, is open to learning more and open to growth. God loves the seekers, because they resist getting too comfortable; they resist falling asleep in dogmatic slumbers of faith’s decay and stagnation.
So what should you do in moments of doubt?
Don’t worry.
Be curious about your feelings of doubt.
Let the doubts send you down the road of seeking.
Remain open.
Continue to walk the path of faith (which is not reducible to thoughts, beliefs, and the like), even when you are not certain where the next turn will lead.
Grace and peace.